Best Quotes: Lois: Welcome to our home Charmisse. Sit anywhere you like. That chair with the garbage bag taped over it looks pretty good.
Peter: I’m not just a poorly cleaned butt. There’s a whole man around it you have to please.
The Road To The Multiverse- Season 8
Stewie: You ever heard of the multiverse theory, Brian.
Brian: Of course I have. But I’m wondering if you have.
Stewie: Oh my god, so transparent. The theory states that there are an infinite amount of universes coexisted with ours on parallel dimensional planes.
Brian: The dimensional planes, right.
Stewie: Oh, don’t do that. Don’t…don’t repeat the last two words like you already kinda knew what I was talking about. You have no idea what I’m talking about.
Best Quotes: Quagmire: (thinks to himself) God this itches! I wonder who I got it from. Probably that skank that I gave a ride to the gas station. Last time I do someone a favor. Oh God! They heard me! Oh God! I heard me! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!
Stewie: Do you like cleaning my doodie, Brian? Say it. Say, “I like cleaning your doodie, Stewie.” Ha! Don’t forget the taint.
To Love And Die In Dixie - Season 3
Hillbilly: [to Lois] Mmm… you smell like the inside of my mama’s purse.
Lois: Oh, um… thank you…
Interviewer: So, Peter, where do you see yourself in five years?
Peter: [thinking] Don’t say doing your wife, don’t say doing your wife, don’t say doing your wife! [out loud] Doing your… son?
PTV - Season 4
Best Quotes: Peter: How ’bout that side boob? Huh? That turn you on? Well, it shouldn’t, because that’s my side boob.
Peter: What the hell? They let Sarah Jessica Parker on TV, and she looks like a foot.
Stu & Stewie’s Excellent Adventure - Season 4
Best Quotes: Old Lois (When she and Peter go to a retirement home): Hi, Glenn. How’s your arthritis?
Old Quagmire: Good, but since you walked in here I’m feeling a little stiff. Giggity Gig- oh, I just pooped a little.
Petarded - Season 4
Best Quotes: Peter: (On the phone) Hello Sally, h-hey its Peter Griffin. Yeah, that’s right, senior prom, yeah it’s been a while…so listen, um, I just found out that I’m retarded and um, I’m just calling to let you know that uh, you might want to get yourself tested.
Chris: Yea, we can live with you again even though you are a dangerous retard!
Peter: Chris, don’t say retard. We prefer to be called ‘little people’ because there is nothing wrong with being mentally challenged.
Stew-Roids – Season 7
Best Quotes: Stewie: It doesn’t matter how you find the pot of gold, B to the rian. All that matters is that you beat the leprechauns.
Stewie: Uh-oh! Spa-doodie-ohs!
Best Quotes: Stewie: Do you know that I’ve got a date with Connie D’Amico this Saturday night at Anal Point? Brian: Ah, I’ve heard about that place. Stewie: Really? What’s it like? ‘Cause I have no idea. Brian: Well, uh… I suppose if you imagine it like a parking space, that you think, “Gosh, there’s no way I’m gonna be able to fit in there.” But then you fold in the side-view mirrors and, sure enough, well, look at that.
Peter: With great mustache comes great responsibility.
Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou – Season 5
Best Quotes: Herbert: Boys, Boys. We can settle this like reasonable and sexy teenagers. Whoever can swallow the most Tylenol PM wins.
Stewie: Just gettin’ my bronze on baby. Hey, what do you think of my recumbent tan pose? Huh, legs probably spread a little wider than they ought to be, but who gives a damn. This is just tan Stewie being tan Stewie.